Bucking pool noodle

 

Chunky thighs and a bloody pool noodle could have been the death of me.

Seriously! I am not joking.

One beautiful clear Monday morning yours truly decided to attend the water aerobics class. 

Dodgy knees but don't let that stop me because I am on a mission to lose weight and tighten up the fiddly bits.

I pulled out the bathing suit. 

Dark green with a few bits of light green and blue on the halter necked shirt style top which was supposed to hide the lumps and bumps and solid green for the shorts... no bikini for this chunky chick.

A quick sneak peek of the final results. 

"Eek!" Dump that top. 

"Ah, that's better" 

After the big black shirt was scrutinised and had passed muster.

Off to the pool I go.

 

At the pool and yours truly gingerly enters the water.

Splashed a bit of cool water on my face. 

A new recruit eager to start the water aerobics.

This bathing beauty was ready for exercises even though balancing myself was a challenge. At least my eyelashes were wet, I think.

Anyway, splashing about in the water mostly on one leg. I could imagine myself like one of the toys going around in circles because I could only use one leg because my knee is plucking painful.

Halfway through the exercise routine a child of yours truly comes in his working gear to fix a problem at the pool.

He casually strolls by " Mornin!"

Yours truly "Mornin"

One of the others asked, " Did you say hello to each other?"

"Yep!" 

No over exuberance from either of us unlike the Hollywood movies.

No waving excitedly.

No " that's my boy!" displays of motherly love and affection. 

No outward overexcited displays like you would see at a niteclub when office workers see a colleague after office hours or in a Hollywood movie. Lol

 

Especially when you live in a small town and modern technology works just fine.

And he had only spoken to yours truly on the weekend. 

The usual conversation between mother and an always broke son.

" You got any money?"

"Any money?"

"Money?"

Those warm fluffy sort of conversations.  

 

Ah, but I an digressing..back to the water aerobics. 

After doing the easy bob and bounce exercises we were ready to get stuck into the difficult stuff.

A few more exercises and the instructor grabbed some pool noodles. Just some fairly easy exercises and then we were asked us to put the noodle between our legs and after a few different easy exercises we were asked to pretend to ride the pool noodle. How hard could that be?

"Just ride the noodle as if you are riding a push bike or a horse."

Seriously, how hard could that be?

As luck would have it I had grabbed a bucking noodle.... I think I would have called it something else in my mind.. but let's not use bad language.

So, one leg went up in the air... the good leg.

The other leg with the dodgy, I can barely hold your weight, knee was trying to hold the said owner of the leg upright.

Arms swinging like a out of control windmill with a few screws loose when yours truly attempted to stand upright.

Aerobic instructor to the rescue..

Eyelashes and hair now wet.

I almost drowned in about 4 foot of water 

The bloody pool noodle was well and truly stuck between those chunky thighs and had no wish to leave.

The aerobics instructor had to forcibly remove the recalcitrant pool noodle. I swear that noodle was extra long, thicker than a normal noodle and had tentacles attached to it because it was holding on to these chunky thighs very well, indeed.

Rescue mission accomplished. 

Saved from the bucking noodle.... insert another word to describe the noodle as I did.

"Well, you better write about this" said one of the rescuers.

But it isn't easy to write about a near death experience when it involves a pool noodle...was my first thought.

Bring on winter.. no more riding lessons for me.. especially on a bucking pool noodle.

Back to the drawing board, I guess.

A nice gentle stroll may be the order of the day.